I've been feeling pretty nervous about
writing this particular post. I mean, the minute we start talking
about big shifts or changes we want to make in our lives, those
changes aren't dormant anymore. I don't think it's been a secret. But
while most of the staff at VEERA YOGA knows, I wanted some sort of
platform to share it with the people who have impacted me more than
any paid or famous teacher: the people who showed up in class. You.
The flexible, the inflexible, those who wanted to be vulnerable, to
do something that mattered to them.
Already I'm crying while writing this,
but we can blame that on faulty tear ducts. I want to tell you that I
will be leaving the studio at the end of June.
When I realized I was catapulting
towards this decision I wasn't sure if I was ready to commit to it.
Valid reasons piled on excuses for why I should stay and for why I
should go. I've said that being a yoga teacher, really sitting in
that role, means being in a permanent state of processing thoughts,
feelings, experiences. I process the big stuff slowly. I feel things
deeply; extracting meaning and action from those feelings can feel
like marching through wet cement.
I need to leave because it's time. I
love my family here more than I could express, and the opportunities
and experiences at this studio continue to challenge and inspire me.
But starting last October, as I made occasional trips to southern
California, my heart began to feel restless, and couldn't quiet. Then
in November when I started an intensive creative writing project I
began remembering parts of myself that I hadn't paid attention to in
years.
This is the beauty of good art when we
can truly be vulnerable with ourselves: the product becomes a
metaphor for where we are and where we need to go. I began to
understand that I was trying to tell myself something, but I had no
idea what the hell that something was. What it meant.
If your heart is restless, listen.
Honor that restlessness. This has been my lesson these last months,
and I am still slow to learn, slow to recognize.
There will be many transitions in the
next two months; my hope is to navigate them with as much grace as
possible. I am working with a wonderful woman, Tricia (she teaches
the Feng Shui workshops at VEERA), to take over the yin yoga classes.
Tricia has such amazing presence and sensitivity to energy, and has
graciously agreed to step in. You will be left in very good hands. I will also come back to town to teach the yin teacher training at the end of July (plus any extra trips back to say hello!).
Beyond this, I will continue teaching
to the best of my ability through the end of June. Feel free to check the schedule to see when I am teaching; I've cut back a bit to allow for space to feel and plan my next step. I don't have clear
plans yet, but I trust that my path is leading me down south.
Sometimes we really do just have to free fall.
If you have any questions or words for
me that you are comfortable posting publicly, please feel free to
leave a comment below and I will do my best to answer. Otherwise, you
are welcome to pull me aside at the studio. I want to be available
and my main hope in this post was to create an open space.
I love you all very dearly, and I feel
so grateful to have spent my last two and a half years here. You have
been my teachers.
With gratitude,
Tasia